


Our Normal

by Sakusanei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Confessions, Developing Relationship, M/M, This is the softest apocalypse AU I’ve ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 03:54:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20039500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakusanei/pseuds/Sakusanei
Summary: Even after the end, Sugawara wouldn’t give up his family for the world.





	Our Normal

The stars are visible now, is the first thing Sugawara remarks to himself silently within the confinements of his own mind.

He glances down, grabs another bullet to reload his gun, but pauses mid-motion. What would his parents think if they saw him with a weapon, grasping it in such a natural way, as though it’s simply an extension of his arm?

He forces the thought out. Thinking about the people in his past brings a sharp pain to his heart. Kiyoko tells him it’s only been six months — he’s allowed to feel pain at the loss at what once was, he’s permitted to mourn, but how can he mourn the unknown? How can he miss what he doesn’t know he has lost?

The thought doesn’t help.

“Don’t clog up your mind, Suga.”

Sugawara jolts at the weary voice, turning his head to face Daichi, who sits in the car seat beside him. “I’m trying not to,” he replies absently, “but I suppose it’s not the easiest.” The flickering streetlights illuminate Daichi’s features, which are pulled with focus.

The younger tugs on the wheel, veering into a junction. Passing a weather-beaten sign, Sugawara absently notes how it lists cities out of Miyagi. So they truly are travelling north.

“I know it’s difficult. With how things are now, there’s not much to look forward to.” Daichi sighs for what Sugawara recognises as the sixth time that night — two more than last night. “Just keep your head above water, okay? You’re always telling others to look for the good in the bad. Don’t forget to do it yourself.”

Sugawara flashes a reassuring smile to Daichi, who returns it. “I’ve always been a stickler for putting others before my myself. Hard to break habit.” Silently, he puts the gun in the glovebox.

“Yeah, you’ve always made Asahi and Kiyoko worry the most, more than me.”

The comment strikes a painful chord, even if Suga knows it wasn’t meant with ill intentions. It’s Daichi, after all. He forces a laugh to cover his grimace. “More than you? You can hardly preach about self-care when you’re the fearless leader who doesn’t mention his injuries.”

“I’m changing,” Daichi protests, glancing from the deserted road to Sugawara.

“Trying to change.”

Daichi sighs (for the seventh time). “We’re human, both of us. We can’t take the world on alone, I know that, but I’m meant to be the leader here and if I show that I’m just as clueless as everyone else- I can’t.” Daichi grips the steering wheel until his hands turn ghostly white.

Sugawara’s seen this before — maybe once or twice in the time he’s known Sawamura — but Daichi has only ever done it when it’s Suga around. When they’re collecting resources together, when the rest are asleep and they’re standing watch outside. Never when he’s driving. “You can show me,” Suga says slowly. “You don’t need to hide it.”

“I _can’t_, Suga.”

And Sugawara realises, Daichi’s not just referring to his emotions. He means everything.

“Pull over.”

Daichi swerves the vehicle into a deserted lane, holding the breaks until it grinds to a complete stop.

“Take it a day at a time, okay?” Daichi opens his mouth to argue. “Let me worry about the future and you worry about the present. If things get worse, we tell each other.”

Daichi nods, the first movements he made since he pulled over.

“Okay.”

Suga thinks that might mark the end of the conversation — Daichi will either shift the gear and return to driving, this time in silence, or tell Suga to sleep and go outside to stand watch.

Which means that when Sawamura instead continues to avert his gaze around the caravan, Koushi knows it isn’t over yet.

“Suga, I care about you, a lot. Not just in a platonic way, either.”

Sugawara gapes.

Behind him, Tanaka’s snores are reverberating through the caravan. Nishinoya must be curled up against Asahi, just like always. Tsukishima has his earphones in, though Suga suspects they broke months ago.

And it hits him just how normal things have become.

Hinata and Kageyama fighting constantly, Nishinoya and Tanaka high-giving at every opportunity, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi sitting on top of the caravan together. It’s not a foreign feelings anymore. It’s just how things are.

Somehow, this new development feels normal too.

“I know.” He closes his eyes and sighs. “I care about you in the same way.”

“This is overdue and not at the best of times, but I think I love you, in a romantic way.”

Sugawara’s eyes snap open and he just looks at Daichi, for a long, long time. Then, he gives a gentle smile and says softly, “I know.”

He dares a peek out of the window; the sky is littered with distant stars, some impossibly bright and others a dull blot on the landscape.

Eventually, he musters enough willpower to open his mouth again. “I love you too. Romantically.”

Daichi says nothing in response, instead opting to grip Sugawara’s shoulders in a tentative hold. “Suga, can I kiss you?”

Sugawara grins. Daichi has always taken the lead over the others, has always been a natural leader.

He leans forward and presses his lips against Daichi’s.

After a moment, he pulls away, cupping Daichi’s cheeks with his hands.

Even now, Sugawara can’t bring himself to completely face the other. “I love you, Daichi. I have for a long time now. I want us to be something else, maybe something more than what we already are. I don’t want to take on whatever’s out there alone.”

“You won’t. I’m not leaving you.”

The words are a promise, an oath that Daichi may not be able to keep. Still, Suga knows he’ll keep it. “I know.”

They stay there for a long time, sitting in each other’s embrace like they have an eternity to spare.

Eventually, Suga breaks into a yawn.

Daichi pulls away, leaving Suga with a rapidly draining warmth.

“Sleep, Koushi. I’ll protect you.”

Daichi veers back onto the street, car lights blooming a patch of road in front of them.

The sound of the engine lulls Suga to sleep.


End file.
